I work with Lisa Chatham (pictured to the left) in a co-therapy model, meaning we are both in the room with the entire family at the same time.
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The love is there. It might not feel like it. It may be masked in a cloak of anger, resentment, hatred and frustration. But it is there. It is why you guys are still together and why you haven’t killed one another outright. It is what brings you to family therapy and it is the seed that will pull you through this difficult time.
Over the years, families ritualize their relationships in unconscious ways. They implicitly agree, for example, for one person to be the location of all the issues. They then focus on this one person as the cause of the problems and the solution to the problems. This strategy continually fails. Eventually, the family members come to an increasing awareness that they are all responsible for the state of the family.
This disturbing realization is immensely powerful. It fuels the subsequent growth and maturation of the family and of each individual member. Lisa and I use our sensitivity to the unconscious dynamics fueling the surface-level conflicts and our playfulness to ensure that the family sessions are enjoyable and beneficial to all parties involved.